Mary Bellamy

Since we've now been back for the better part of a month, I figured it's time to get off of my ass and publish some more New Zealand photos.
















After Christchurch and the Banks Peninsula, it was time for Mary and I to pick up our wheels. This is a Toyota Corsi (the "Cynthia" model, if a 1.3L engine isn't emasculating enough). I think it a late model directly from Japan, which was problematic because it meant the radio only worked on lwoer Japanese frequencies and couldn't pick up anything. This was even problematicer (that's totally a word) because Mary misplaced her iPod in Christchurch, leaving us music-less until we finally picked up some Willie Nelson and Cyndi Lauper tapes later in the trip. Radio notwithstanding, I liked the car, which had enough legroom for me - though getting in and out was a challenge - and got something like 40 mpg.

















Mary at the Moeraki boulders on the east coast of the South Island. Some sort of weird geological processes created a bunch of perfectly spherical boulders that now sit on and around a beach. The biggest ones, as you can see, are more than 5 feet around, while all of the smaller ones have been rolled off as souvenirs.





















This bird is called a shag. Mary and I were at a good penguin-watching spot on the east coast, near the boulders, when this guy calmly walked over to us. We watched in amazement (we kinda thought it was a penguin, which seemed odd, as they assiduously avoid humans) as it just kept coming and, when it reached us, promptly started trying to peck at my feet. This went on for several minutes, to Mary's great amusement.















Once we discovered (from an amused local) that I was not in fact being attacked by a rare yellow-eyed penguin, we went off in search of the birds again. As you can see, we found some. We had been looking for an hour and had all but given up when we spotted this one ducked behind a protective fence. The highlight was when he(?) walked forward a few purposeful steps, stuck out its butt, and let out a forceful poop, accompanied by a farting noise so ridiculously overblown that Mary and I could barely keep from cracking up. It was a Kodak moment.
















We spent Christmas at a rather amazing hostel outside of Dunedin, on the East Coast of the South Island. It's built on the grounds of an old insane asylum, and the current owner has filled up all the old asylum buildings with an assortment of junked cars (for no apparent reason.) A spectacularly relaxing place, where I spent Christmas morning surfing (trying to, anyway) and we spent Christmas night drinking German alcoholic punch and enjoying a barbecue on an old blacksmith's stove. Interesting group of guests: we were the only native English speakers there; everyone else was from Germany or Hong Kong. Mary and I are on the couch in the photo.

Now that Mary and I have been back for two weeks (and broken up for three, though if you're reading this you probably know that already), we figured it was about time to start posting some photos from our often wild, frequently wonderful, indisputably momentous (see note above!) trip to New Zealand. So here's the first of several parts.

Our first stop was Christchurch, a charming little city we explored for a few days. Laid out by homesick Britons, the place looks like a slice out of England, what with punters working the river Avon in the middle of town, right next to the expansive botanical gardens.




















Note the ginormous trees, including this eucalyptus.

Also note the ginormous throne room in the old government buildings. Mary made herself at h0me.

After Christchurch we headed to the nearby coastal town of Akaroa, a beautiful, verdant place that was the starting point for our first tramp, the Banks Peninsula Track. This two-day hike was our mutual favorite for the trip, passing through sheep paddies, spectacular coastal cliffs, and some remnants of native forest. It also featured some of the most incredible accommodation on the trip, including one night spent at a weird compound filled with random stuff like an adult-sized swing, an outdoor pool table and a shower with a tree growing right through the middle of it.




















Waterfalls galore. There was one that sprayed out far enough from the rocks that you could actually walk behind it, which was a marvelously surreal experience.















Mary on the trail to our second night's lodging.




















The way-cool pool table, which wasn't level and had a stick from a tree for a cue. But, I mean, it
was outside! Awesome.















One last shot from the Banks: Me hiking on the second day of the tramp.

It's time to wrap up this New Zealand thing. Today was our last day in Auckland, and tomorrow we'll get on the plane and begin the long journey back to Fairbanks. I hope it's warmed up. If not, I've got some new stripe-y Polypros....

if something gets in your way, turn.

$2 to whoever gets that first. Zorbing was awesome. I sustained my most major injury to date when I ripped a fingernail partly off while diving into the Zorb. It's hard to explain.

We're in Auckland now. Big cities are scary. We'll be home soon....

The new rental car only has a tape deck. We bought four used tapes. Neil Diamond and The Buggles were old and warped, but Cyndi Lauper and Willie Nelson played just fine!

We finished the Tongariro Northern Circuit and are in Rotorua now. We stopped in Taupo to go bungy jumping yesterday. Fucking terrifying. I mean it. Today we'll go Zorbing, which should be much, much less terrifying. We still haven't agreed on whether or not to go to the Agrodome.

Our first rental car had a funky radio that would only pick up the FM band from 76 to about 82, thus limiting our music options. With the iPod being long gone, we had no music, and Tom would occasionally lament that New Zealand lacked any good truck stops where one could get tapes including either a) Conway Twitty, b) "Convoy" or c) both.

Today at a cd store I found him the Truckin' Marvellous album. No Conway Twitty, but it does have "Convoy." We pick up the next rental car tomorrow. I can't wait.

We got back to Te Anau last night after an amazing 2-day kayaking trip on one of the fiord. I just like saying fiord. Try it - fiord, fiord, fiord!!! The weather was a bit rough, so we couldn't camp overnight beside the fiord, but we still got two days of paddling in. I'm sore, but it was worth it!

We're currently checking e-mail and updating the blog (well, Tom is checking sports scores on ESPN) before we head out again. We plan to cruise through Queenstown as quickly as possible and find ourselves a place to stay somewhere between here and Punakaiki. It should be two great days of driving, as we're heading up the West Coast most of the way. Mountains today, beaches tomorrow.

Milford Sound? check
part of Hollyford Track? check
part of Routeburn Track? check
kayaking on Doubtful Sound? um, check on the weather tomorrow first....
ability to check Gmail on hostel computer? not check, repeat, not check

Tom and I will be departing in a few minutes for the wilds of the Catlins Coast. It's the southern part of the South Island, and we'll be camping tonight, then hiking (excuse me, tramping) the Catlins Top Track for 2 days. After that we'll drive the Southern Scenic Route, stopping to camp at the Clifden Caves, before finally arriving in Te Anau, where we'll hopefully have Internet access once again.

But before we leave, we're headed to the chocolate factory!!!

The Asylum has been an amazing place to stay. Tom said it's the sort of place where he might keep extending his stay if we didn't already have plans. I can see what he means. Today is a gorgeous day when we might have gone surfing, or maybe taken a sea kayak or some snorkel gear and caught our own dinner. Instead, all I'll be catching is a Crunchie T-shirt at Cadbury World.

Happy Boxing Day to all my readers! Yesterday we celebrated Christmas in style. Tom spent the morning surfing with a bunch of Chinese people who were staying at The Asylum with us, while I poked around the grounds and tried to get into as many abandoned buildings as possible. In the afternoon, we went to the beach at Moeraki with a German couple (yes, the ones I was talking LOUD and slooooow with), where we spotted sea lions lounging on the grass and frolicking in the surf. As we were hiking up the hill back to the car, I looked through the fence and saw a yellow-eyed penguin with its chick standing not 2 feet away from us! So, we can check off most of the rare species on the South Island - yellow-eyed penguins, Hector's dolphins, Hooker's sea lions and many, many seals.

When we got back to The Asylum, the party was just getting started. Frank, the owner, fired up the old blacksmith's forge (left over from the days when the administrators thought it best for the crazy folk to work hard instead of take medications) in one of the outbuildings. A bunch of lovely German girls had spent the day making salads and preparing bowle - a potent fruit punch. We cooked up a heap of sausages, steaks and kebabs over the fire and sat around a collection of old couches eating, drinking and talking. Later we tried to come up with games that the whole group could play. With 10 Chinese, 6 Germans, 2 Americans and 1 Kiwi, we couldn't play anything that required lots of talking. Someone had bought a box of crackers, so we joined hands in a big circle to pull the crackers, then donned our party hats and ceremonially burned the bad jokes.

Best. Christmas. Ever.

Not me, I'm still feeling hot. But you know that stereotype? You know, the one how Americans deal with any foreigner by talking LOUDER and sloooooower? Well, at dinner tonight, that's what I felt like. Factoid for those that don't know me that well - my mother was deaf until a few years ago. (No, she didn't die. She got a cochlear implant.) Therefore, my natural instinct when I think people don't understand me is to talk LOUDER and slooooower. Well, I also try to throw in some sign language too. And thus I fulfilled the ugly American stereotype while dining with a lovely German couple tonight.

All of this, of course, is my way of saying that both Tom and I are safe and sound. The Banks Peninsula Track was simply amazing. We have picked up a rental car and are now ensconced in our Christmas digs. The Asylum is a former insane asylum outside of Dunedin that now serves as our hostel for the next few nights. It's still somewhat authentic, and I'm sure Tom will revive a few lines from his star turn as "Chief" in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest at some point during our stay. They have free Internet access (yay!) but it's dial-up (boo!). I may have lost my wallet and iPod while we were getting the car. I'm trying to not get upset and just view this as an opportunity to get a new iPod. It's not a very good consolation, though, as it will cost me more money.

Merry Christmas! Or belated holiday greetings! Or have a happy pre-season! This dateline stuff confuses me, but it's 9 p.m. Christmas Eve, and I'm surrounded by happy Germans and pleasantly sloshed. I may go out and chase the horses around the grounds soon, or I may just watch a bad movie and go to sleep.

Tom and I arrived in Auckland, and then in Chiristchurch, on Tuesday, Dec. 18. We have settled into the Chester Street Backapackers, which is lovely and quiet - two of my main considerations in a hostel. We're treating ourselves to a private room for the next few days.

So far Christchurch is lovely. Today is a little overcast, but the sun keeps poking through. We've been enjoying wandering around the city and had great fun at the supermarket. What is it about foreign grocery stores that is so enticing? I want to try one of each of their candybars, and don't get me started on the cookies, sodas and cheeses. After a picnic lunch at Cathedral Square, we stopped by the library so that I could get a little Internet access. It's cheaper here than at our hostel, but don't expect any personal e-mails or frequent posts when we have to pay for the Web.

After this, we're off to explore the botanical gardens and visit one of the art museums before heading back to the hostel for dinner. Fun fact - the celebrity gossip magazines here still gossip mostly about American celebrities. There's a good supply of the magazines at the hostel, so I intend to read up!

We may change our plans slightly and spend some extra time in Akaroa after we finish the Banks Peninsula Track instead of coming back to Christchurch for another night. The town looks interesting, and I fear that we may just spend our time in Christchurch trying to eat at every restaurant I see! Sadly, we've already spotted at least two Starbucks. The McDonald's doesn't dishearten me quite as much, simply because I want to eat all the weird, non-American things on the menu, like the Kiwi pavlova for dessert.

Is it wrong to buy a duffle bag when we get to Auckland for the sole purpose of bringing home lots of funny food?

I'm snowed in at a hotel next to the Providence Airport. Looks like I'll have a later flight to LA, so no trip top the Fabric District for me - apologies to those who wanted me to bring them home goodies. Instead I'll be grabbing my rental car and heading straight up to SLO.

On the bright side, I can see a store called "Ninja World" from my hotel window. If only it were open, I could get Tom a T shirt!

In keeping with our continuing vein of cultural non sequitirs (see: watching Top Gun on Christmas), we decided to celebrate the all-American holiday of Thanksgiving by gorging on Indian food. Kudos to Mary for cooking up an awesome Hindi buffet, not to mention enough leftovers to keep us going all weekend.
Also kudos to Mary for posting her Borg bellydance routine on YouTube, which is what we're all watching in this photo. L to R are Rachel, Victoria, Mary, Joyce, Liz and Chris, drinking wine from a paper cup.


Kudos to Victoria for getting into the spirit of things by forcing her Italian Greyhound, Itchy, to accept her place in the caste system for the day.












And finally, kudos to me (with help from Mary) for putting together a Ganesh on the lite-brite coffee table. Clearly I've found my medium.

I am outsourcing my blog to Tom. You may have noticed that I've been posting less. I've made him a co-author on the blog, and hopefully this way you'll get to hear him blog-quote my wit more often.

Is a shared blog the class ring or varsity jacket of the new millenium?

Short and sweet post -

The Namaste Indian students are hosting a Diwali festival this Sunday from 4:30-9 p.m. in the Wood Center ballroom. Tickets are $16 and include a delicious Indian meal (where else will you find that in Fairbanks), plus entertainment. I will be performing Orissi dance as well as modeling in the traditional Indian fashion show. Yeah, I know. I'm white. But I got a lot of Indian clothing.

So, when I said I was working for The Man, I meant I was working for The Man. My temporary job is at a place that is funded by the Department of Defense. They just extended my contract until February, so The Man must not have figured out that
a) I'm a pacifist
b) I'm leaving the country for seven weeks
Regardless, I haven't been blogging because it's hard to blog at work when you're at a supercomputing research center run by The Man. It's just not good form, people. Hell, I haven't even been reading blogs lately, unless you count graphic design blogs. I call those market research.

By way of apology, I give you something I've seen all over the Internet for the past few days.

From the Tampa Bay Craiglist: Survival of the Fittest

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

OMG!!!!!! You know I'm excited when I start using acronyms. LOL!!!! (OK, that one made me feel dirty)

Did you know that there's a Society of Typographic Aficionados? And they have a yearly convention called TypeCon???? And at the latest TypeCon they screened Helvetica, a movie all about fonts?!?!?!?!?!?

Dear God, I feel a little faint! And, um, maybe slightly like I might cry if I ever got to go to a TypeCon.


Oh, yes, blah blah blah, haven't posted recently because I started a new job. I'm working for The Man now. That's right, working for The Man every night and day. I figure it's best not to use DoD computers to update my blog while I'm on the clock.

Could things really be working out? Is it possible to fit in a trip to New Zealand, a visit with my parents AND a two-day tribal fusion dance workshop all in one? Fingers crossed on this one...