Jan 28, 2010

heard on chat

Posted by Mary |

I pay a huge athletics fee to subsidize teams I don't care about (and CGI polar bears) and the library is broke? WTF?
--Tom, discussing the fact that the UAF library
doesn't have money for any new acquisitions until July

If you don't know what he means by CGI polar bears, check this out:

I was about a minute in and thinking, "Hey, this doesn't have nearly enough music from Top Gun," and then BAM there was some Highway to the Danger Zone. Awesome.

The fee schedule at UAF has long perplexed me as well. If I take 3 or more credits, I have to start paying all sorts of fees. My tuition is free, thanks to work, but I have to pay the fees. Examples of fees a 3-credit student would pay:
  • ASUAF $35 per semester - Student government. Also pays for the newspaper, student radio and television station, concerts, etc.
  • Athletics and campus recreation - $8 per credit - Grants free access to the campus gym. Oh, wait, my bad. I still have to pay for the gym. This lets me go to home games.
  • Student sustainability - $20 per semester - This supports green initiatives. I assume that means the aluminum can recycling bin, because we just throw everything else out.
  • Technology - $5 per credit - I have no idea. Maybe the computer labs? Doesn't everyone have a laptop these days?
  • UA network fee - 2% of tuition - Technology maintenance.

So, in conclusion: I pay all that every time I take a course. And the library can't buy a book.

In another rant: Parking. Let's just review: I know there's snow on the ground covering those little parking lines. However, the headbolt heater is shared by two spaces. Therefore, one can assume that you do NOT park your car with the headbolt heater perfectly aligned with your hood ornament. That is what is known as "taking up two spaces and parking like a jackass."

Rants over.

Jan 17, 2010

heard in the living room

Posted by Mary |

Don't do it.
--Mr. Black
Do it.
--The Boarder
Don't do it.
--Mr. Black
Do it.
--The Boarder
Oh my god! Ok, you put on an angel costume and you dress up like the devil!

This is shaping up to be a fun night at the Boatel.

Jan 12, 2010

heard in the crawlspace

Posted by Mary |

Oh, that's old. A Chrysler? I haven't seen one of these things in a while. If Jesus had a forced air furnace, he would have had one of these.

A tune-up brought my furnace up to almost 80% efficiency. Not bad, considering I think the old girl has been there since the house was built in 1960.

In unrelated news, I am having trouble figuring out my next vacation. It turns out that going to Madagascar (which seems logical since I'll practically be in the area) costs about as much as going to Africa in the first place. The money isn't an issue, but there is a larger concern over the amount of time it will take to include that trip. Have I mentioned that I also have to stop in Connecticut for a while? My sister is having her first child, and there will be hell to pay if I take a vacation without the prerequisite trip to visit the family.

I have plenty of vacation time, but don't feel comfortable leaving work for that long since I often feel like I'm the only person capable of running the big printers or making changes to documents. I think if I can make the vacation coincide with the holiday closures, it will be a slow time at work anyway. Plus, technically my department saves money when I go on vacation!

Jan 1, 2010

heard on New Year's Eve

Posted by Mary |

I dated an amputee once.
Oooh! Which limb?

Can you believe I was in a bar with two reporters and neither of them had a pen so I could write that bon mot down? Good thing I remembered it. I don't remember much else of last night.

Gary, Scott, Josh, Chris and I went to the Boatel for the evening. Scott remained sober and was our DD for the night, while the rest of us tried to cram into his Impreza. Martinis kept appearing in front of me all night long, many pictures were taken, and I recall dancing a lot with Jean-Luc Picard. Rumor has it I also kissed him.

We were dismayed to find that McDonald's was closed at 3 a.m. (Resolutions to eat healthier only go into effect after one has slept off New Year's Eve.) Somehow the lack of french fries resulted in buying a bunch of crappy frozen pizzas at Wal-Mart. I believe Josh chose to sleep on the floor, and he and Chris went home around 6:30 a.m. Gary was up and cooking breakfast around 10, while I laid claim to the term "indisposed." Since this is only the second time I've had a hangover in my life (the first being the result of Uncle Milton's eggnog and a bonfire a few years back), I was ill-prepared. However, I had thrown together a baked french toast dish before we went out, so Gary popped it in the oven, then he, Scott and I cuddled in bed while all the food cooked.

Gary was really keen on Skyping Mother Haley, though I demurred. He even offered to wander by casually in the background wearing nothing but an apron. In the end, we just ate breakfast and drank mimosas. Hair of the dog and all that.

I do have pictures to post and Christmas stories to share, but my Internet has been, frankly, shit. I've got yet another appointment with a technician on Monday. I'll replace the phone lines when I rip out the interior walls, but for now my ability to connect is sporadic at best. Keep your fingers crossed for better connections tomorrow, and maybe I will upload pictures of Oh Tannenbones.