Mar 29, 2010

in which a new character is introduced

Posted by Mary |

Back in July, I took the bold step of making my fag hag relationship with Gary official. We were at a party, rather tipsy on some sweet tea vodka and homebrew, when we decided that we should become "It's Complicated With" each other on Facebook. The original rationale was that his boyfriend refused to join FB, and our relationship certainly was complicated.

The two of us can never keep things simple, though. We quickly decided to hyphenate and become the Haley-Blacks. Then we began adopting our friends in order to have a large, multi-ethnic brood, a la the Jolie-Pitts. Then we created a fan page for The Haley-Blacks. Yes, it was all rather complicated indeed. His boyfriend did join FB, but we did not change our relationship status.

However, on Saturday, I ventured to the Boatel with My New Beau, as Gary had expressed interest in meeting him. Gary had also taken to referring to MNB as The Interloper. Things started off calmly enough. Then, out of nowhere, he busts out with, "Now I'm 'Its Complicated' with Marmian. We just changed it on our phones 3 seconds ago." Yes, the very same Marmian who, not a week before, had been begging me to invite her over to watch when I finally decided to end my FB relationship with Gary.

Cue my screaming, "Whore!" across the crowded bar at Marmian and MNB pulling out his phone to update our relationship statuses. Phillip tried desperately to keep the peace by asking if I wanted to go to brunch tomorrow, but Gary interjected with, "Don't you dare ask him!" when I asked MNB if he wanted to go to brunch. I responded by saying "WE" as much as possible. Diana came over to join in the fun, and I told her that Marmian better have four spare tires for her truck, because I was feeling kind of slashy.

So, yeah, introducing him to my friends went well.

Mar 22, 2010

i judge

Posted by Mary |

Part of the Monday routine, since arriving in Fairbanks in 2003, is to pass judgment on people. Specifically, I refer to the "People" section of the News-Miner. Back in my days at the newspaper, it was my job to put this section together. And thus I did judge people for the stupid names they give their babies ("Neveah" - aka Heaven spelled backward - is not original, folks).

But my favorite part of the game was always guessing which newly engaged couple would be the first to divorce. Good clues were whether the couple lived in North Pole (sorry, NP!), how recently the bride had graduated high school (bonus points if it's a Christian high school) and whether the military was somehow involved in this wedding.

Today, it was like a light shone down from Neveah. The groom is in the military. The bride was born and raised in North Pole. And she has not yet graduated from high school. Wow. Fiancee and prom date all in one?

Not to sound too cynical, but I predict they'll stay together three years. They'll PCS to somewhere in the Lower 48, she'll have two kids, and he'll eventually leave her for a waitress at the local Olive Garden. I've been right about these things before.

Mar 20, 2010


Posted by Mary |

I did something to my neck on Thursday. I don't know how or what, but it's definitely in rough shape. I managed to get in to see my chiropractor before my massage on Friday. He made several adjustments, and the massage therapist spent the full hour working on my neck and that portion of my back. By later that night, though, the muscles had clenched up again. I had a mini freakout as I was trying to find my heating pad.

I woke up this morning and spent a good amount of time trying to figure out how to get out of bed. Once that Herculean task was accomplished, I headed back to the chiropractor for more adjusting. While my spine is now properly aligned and my ribs are all in their proper places, my muscles have clenched and just will not let go. I've got an appointment for acupuncture on Monday and another visit to the chiropractor on Tuesday.

In all of this madness, I opted to skip my cha cha class today, as well as the dance rehearsal tonight. Sorry, just can't do it. Instead, I'm at home with the heat pad, an ice pack, advil, icy hot and some naturopathic treatments. I'm working my way through a British zombie miniseries, and have several movies to keep me entertained as well. I stopped by work and grabbed my laptop so that I can work from home on Monday if necessary.

At least I can take comfort in the fact that if I'm suffering, my ex will soon be suffering more. Tom has come up with the bright idea to ski the White Mountains 100 tomorrow. He'll be racing along with his girlfriend Amy and our friend Jay.

In the "Sometimes It Hurts To Be So Fiscally Sensible" category, I transferred money out of my vacation account. It's been accumulating rapidly, so I took enough to max out my Roth IRA for 2009. I only have until April 15 to invest for 2009, and my trip isn't until December. I believe the amount still remaining in the account will be enough for the trip anyway, since I have enough miles with Alaska Air to get to Kenya. Plus there's still that big old tax rebate coming my way...

Mar 18, 2010

one mystery solved

Posted by Mary |

The house has always been a little moist. I assumed it was because it got sealed too tightly at some point. And the laundry area gets linty really easily, but laundry rooms are supposed to be a little messy, right? Wrong.

I was leaning over the running dryer this evening when I noticed it was unseasonably warm. Out of curiosity, I crawled up onto the washer and peered down. The vent pipe connecting my dryer to the outside vent is not attached. On closer inspection, it appears it was once held together with - wait for it - duct tape. Fun fact: You can use duct tape for anything except ducts. I didn't pull the dryer all the way out, but I suspect the same quality attachment technique was used to connect the vent pipe to the dryer, too.

I have to finish drying the stuff that's in the washer, but then the laundry is off-limits until I can get myself some foil tape and a few hose clamps and fix this situation.

To continue along the home improvement tangent, I have almost every aspect of my bathroom renovation planned out. I can't do it until August, but the plans are there.

In self improvement, I finally made the appointment to get my new tattoo finished. I think my first session with it was back in October, and it will be nice to finally have it done. I don't look forward to the forced immobility for a few days afterward.

I'm really developing a crush on this guy I'm dating. I know that announcing such in a public forum is jinxing things. I know. But I just like talking with him. I've always been more interested in mental attraction than physical (though believe me both are there), and he is proving smart enough to keep me intrigued.

Mar 13, 2010

heard in the bathroom

Posted by Mary |

You might want to Google "how to wash caulk off your hands."

Until I can properly renovate, I must maintain. And this week I noticed a crack developing between the bathtub and the wall. I plan to rip the tub out this summer, but for now I caulked the cracks. For the record, acetone nail polish remover does the trick to clean your hands.

I am in the middle of a blissful long weekend. UAF gives us one paid vacation day for the spring break, so I had Friday off. I even took the day off from the gym, too! I could pretend I have all sorts of projects planned, but tonight will likely just feature dancing.

In unrelated news (because I like to just sort of throw this stuff out in the middle and then ignore it), an old friend died on Monday. Old as in "met him many years ago," not old as in "septuagenarian." He was 39. I'm not really sure how I feel about this, as I haven't fully processed it yet. But I was thankful that the gym was nearly empty Thursday morning. I lost myself in old music while thousands of miles away, friends gathered to remember Jimmy.

My roommate and I seem to have finally hit upon the solution to the constant catfights that have been happening since she moved in. Catfights as in "two cats fighting," not catfights as in "pulling each others' hair as we argue over who gets to shower first." We got a plug-in diffuser for cat pheromones. It arrived this morning. Both cats are now in the same room, mere feet apart, and are ignoring each other. It's an eerie sort of bliss.

Mar 5, 2010

injury? but of course!

Posted by Mary |

I have been sleeping wrong lately. It doesn't seem like the sort of activity one can do wrong, but there you have it. I go to bed like a normal person, and I wake up face down with the upper half of my body jacked up on three or four pillows. It is causing my back some distress. I think I'm going to try putting most of the pillows on the floor. We'll see how much damage I can do with just one.

I had to go to the chiropractor today to get prodded back into shape. It felt good, but I don't think he got me all aligned, and my back is hurting again. It didn't stop me from going to a 2-hour tango class tonight. Nor will it stop me from going out dancing tomorrow night. All this ballroom stuff is great, but I'm starting to feel the need to go to a club. I may have to make plans to do so sometime soon.

In non-dance news, I told my boss today of my travel plans for the winter holidays. I haven't put in a formal request for the dates off, but expect I should be able to do that after a little more research this weekend.

Mar 1, 2010

another day of fail

Posted by Mary |

I woke up early for the gym. Since I wasn't able to make it on Friday (see previous post re: no having a blower motor sucks), I knew I wanted to hit it hard. I wanted to make a cardiovascular atonement. However, it seems my right running shoe wanted to sleep in. $%*#

When I forgot my gym pants a few months ago, I just walked 5 miles in cords and called that my exercise for the day. But there was no way I was going to be doing any sort of exercise in the winter boots that I need to wear to stay warm in the unheated car.

Thus: a shower, and an early start to my work day. The office is dead quiet at 7:30 a.m.