May 3, 2007

vengeance ... with a side of justice

Posted by Mary |

Fucking squirrels ate my hammock chair last year. But then Jay and Nancy gave us a slingshot. Tom has collected a small tub of rocks, and my aim is improving. The new hammock chair is on its way, and I am ready to defend it!


Archeobot said...

Did I ever tell you about how my dad electrifed the bird feeder? Hooked it up to a car battery and wired a switch to the house. If he saw the squirell in the feeder, he would flip the switch (and the squirell would go vertical). Mean but not deadly, yet hysterical. Except I don't think your supposed to laugh about that sort of stuff??

Anonymous said...

Hey Mary!

Do yourself a favor and go down to that sports store above Sentry Hardware in Gavora Mall and buy some slingshot ammo. Not very expensive and they fly MUCH straighter than pebbles from the driveway.

Another idea is to aquire a rat trap or two - basically larger versions of the common mousetrap. Samson Hardware has 'em. Set 'em with a bit of peanut butter on the trigger. They make a satisfying WHACK! when they put the varmits down.

MG said...

OMG! Is that camo you are wearing?

Mary said...

archeobot Do they have plans for an electric birdfeeder on

anonymous Thanks for the ammo tip. I much preferred it when you were in my office today explaining how to drown squirrels.

mg No it's not camo! It's a kind of Pucci-esque granny dress from Value Village. Although now that I think about it, a camo granny dress would be awesome!

Allen said...

I suppose there are more lethal options available, but.. heck.. good old kinetic energy saves the day.

CabinDweller said...


Nah. Go for a .22 with "shorts." (Cartridges that will take out a squirrel but not travel much further - very useful in a residential area.)

I was trying a bb gun last year but it failed to kill a number of them.

And whatever you do, if you start naming them, stick with one name for all of em. You begin to run out of names after a while, and trust me, there are at least 5x as many squirrels as you think there are.

Anonymous said...

Gotta wear safety glasses. As they told Ralphy, "You'll shoot your eye out." Cool sunglasses will do the trick too. Those would add to a squirell terminator feel.