Apr 11, 2007

to pee or not to pee

Posted by Mary |

This is the part where I should apologize for the pun. Please note the silence. And now for an explanation: After years of suffering the injustices of womanhood in silence, I have decided to rise up against the oppression and take matters into my own hand. Literally.

I am sick of Tom getting to use his favorite pee tree while I have to practically disrobe in our tiny outhouse in order to relieve myself. And so, after doing some research (thank you Internet, although you did steer me to some nasty stuff during my research), I have decided that I shouId order a female urination device. But I'm not quite sure which one is right for me, and so I turn to my gentle readers for votes.

Now, right off the bat I dismissed the Urinelle, LaFemme and P-Mate because they were all disposable. I don't want to add to the environmental stress on our planet simply to fulfill my desire to write my name in the snow. After further research, I narrowed the field to three contenders:

Pros: Narrow tip is ideal for perfecting my snow signature!
Cons: It's just so clinical looking.

Pros: Please. Have you seen the color range?
Cons: Yeah, that's an open top, which just seems ripe for some accidents.

Pros: Barbie-doll pink, with a fun name to boot! Flexible material.
Cons: More expensive, must order from Australia.

What? Don't most people blog about this stuff?


Deirdre Helfferich said...

Okay, Mary, you write up a comparative product review, and I'll publish it. AND I'll pay you for it. I mean, c'mon, this is stuff that will have people collapsing in hysterics at the coffee shops and rolling around on the floor in convulsions of laughter. And then they'll buy 20 copies of the paper for their friends in the Lower 48 as gag gifts ("See what happens to people in the dark of winter? See? See why my neighbors are so funny?")

I can hardly wait.

Coldfoot said...

Oh, fer cryin' out loud.

For the sake of the environment get one you can just wash with the rest of your dishes and reuse. Wouldn't want to add more consumer-istic, disposable crap added to the landfill, now would we?

akbushbaby said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
akbushbaby said...

I've often contemplated getting one of those contraptions for when I'm running dogs and have to strip off layer and layers of clothes just to go pee. But, instead, I've opted to just pee my pants. It keeps me warm, if only for a moment.

Ishmael said...

I'm unclear... are these things strapped on or adhered in some way, worn under clothing while out and about, only to be revealed when the operator unzips? And speaking as a man with a lot of shrub-watering experience, let me say having a flexible nozzle is a distinct advantage.

p.s. I just found your blog (through fireyblazinghandbasket), and love it. Live long and prosper.

Anonymous said...

Well, if you are taking it with you on the trail,the shorter the better as they are all plastic. You know how brittle it becomes in the cold. The first one has my vote. It looks sturdy and even though you have it listed as a con; the aegis of clinical gives it that antiseptic sound

Megan said...

Have you ever tried peeing in a tiny opening? Not so easy... I vote for the third one. Wide opening, directed flow, flexible tip. It's worth the wait and the extra cost!

Jenni Moody said...

Hi Mary!

Just found your blog and it is kick ass.

I think the Whiz Plus is the best of your top three. It offers a good pee catching area and looks like it will funnel the pee away from your legs with snow writing precision. Plus, it's just what a pee aide should be - fun and handy.

The travel mate does look way too clinical, and clinical doesn't make me think "clean." Clinical to me is invasive and uncomfortable.

Travel mate also looks like a pee flute.

Cristine said...

Just found your blog. AWESOME is the first word that came to mind...

I'm getting ready to do a group hike of Crow Pass out of Girdwood, and the LAST thing I want to do is sneak off by myself to bear my hiney in the woods to pee. I'm going to have to order one (or 20) of these. My Fab Females group has no idea what they are in for at Christmas!