Mary Bellamy

So I fly to Connecticut because my father is sick and in need of surgery. And while I'm here, dealing with this, what happens?

Oh, does that look bad? Let's take a look at the close-up.


I know I have a history of bad language on this blog, but seriously? Seriously? Fuck me.

According to my roommate, the water is around 3 feet deep. Our landlord dropped off a canoe. The rain stopped this morning, but the water is a few inches from getting into the house. And it will keep rising even after the rain has stopped.

My friends are trying to mount a rescue effort while I sit here, 5,000 miles away, unable to shake the feeling that I'm screwed.

Trapped in D.C. No flights out until tomorrow, if then. Almost rented a car to drive back. Have been up since 9 a.m. Saturday. Have not eaten since 5 this morning. Must find food or will eat my own foot. All clothing, toiletries, etc. in checked bag trapped at airport. Just found laptop charger and am now very happy. May start using full sentences soon.

Ugh. Travel commences tonight. I don't normally mind traveling, but buying a last-minute ticket means taking whatever The Man has to dish out. In other words, it's the middle seat for me. I've got a total of 6 flights on this trip, with one aisle seat and only one precious window. I think I hate everyone else on those planes who had the luxury of planning ahead for their trips.

10 days on the East Coast. I've told my father that the only reason I'm actually coming home is to go shopping. And I will certainly do some of that. But for those of you who don't know, I am going home because he is sick. Hence my lack of recent posting. Dear Papa has three aortic aneurysms in his heart, one of which requires immediate attention. He'll be playing the part of a guinea pig, as he's going to try an experimental procedure first. Open heart surgery is the last resort.

But rather than stress him out, I'm going to list some things that will have fellow Alaskans green with envy.

• Target
• Sushi
• Real cheese
• TJ Maxx
• Malls
• Indian food
• Indian grocery stores
• Pirated Bollywood movies for $2 at Indian grocery stores
• 90 degrees
• Beaches

Don't hate. I plan on a complicated dance of luggage on the way back. I've got 8 hours in Seattle, so I'm only going to check my luggage through to that point, then pick it up and pay to store it. I will then hop a bus downtown, hopefully meet up with Heather at some point for dinner or a drink or just a chat, and (more importantly) hit the stores for some food shopping. I don't want to take the chance that any cheese in my carry-on will be confiscated, so I'll put it all in my checked bag and recheck it when I check in for my Seattle-Fairbanks flight. You'd think cheese would be fine, but in Auckland they confiscated my hummus. Damn racial profiling....

I've heard from a lot of people wanting to know why I haven't been posting lately. Or, to be specific, they've told me to get off my ass and on my blog. Rather than explain where I've been, I thought I'd share this latest gem.

From the San Francisco Bay Area craigslist:

Nemesis required. 6-month project with possibilty to extend

I've been trying to think of ways to spice up my life. I'm 35 years old, happily married with two kids and I have a good job in insurance. But somethings missing. I feel like I'm old before my time. I need to inject some excitement into my daily routine through my arm before its too late. I need a challenge, something to get the adrenaline pumping again. An addiction would be nice, but, in short, I need a nemesis. I'm willing to pay $350 up front for you services as an arch enemy over the next six months. Nothing crazy. Steal my parking space, knock my coffee over, trip me when I'm running to catch the BART and occasionally whisper in my ear, "Ahha, we meet again". That kind of thing. Just keep me on my toes. Complacency will be the death of me. You need to have an evil streak and be blessed with innate guile and cunning. You should also be adept at inconspicuous pursuit. Evil laugh preferred. Send me a photo and a brief explanation why you would be a good nemesis.

British accent preferred.